These texting mistakes are deadly because even when you get a girl’s phone number or when you are been dating her for a while, texting becomes the number one form of communication. It is about how you communicate with her. And when you do this wrong, you don’t get it and you make these mistakes, you are not only killing the momentum but you are possibly ruining your chances of even getting to meet up with you. The attraction that she did feel towards you, quickly disintegrates when you not doing this right. When you do these kinds of mistakes, you leave her thinking that you are just like every guy out there and you lose her attention.
Attention is the number one commodity in this day and age. A woman is so much distracted by many things like Facebook, email, phone calls, by a constant barrage of instant messengers, chats, etc. You always have to be able to keep her attention whether you just met her or whether you are been dating her for several months or you will lose girl after girl.
Attractive communication means taking all the attracting elements of a normal conversation and boiling it down into tiny little texts. When you master this sort of communication, you gain a massive advantage over all the other guys out there who are going to continue making mistakes.
Before you had a first date with a girl, she won’t feel much connection to you. As unfortunate as it may be, you are probably not the only guy texting her. You can be however the only guy texting her intelligently and attractively. A common mistake most guys make when they are texting a girl is that they mistake responses for attraction. And when a guy starts to get responses from a girl, he believes that he’s getting closer to getting her out on a date or seducing her. And it is actually the opposite. The more text you send before meeting up with a girl means the less chance you have to actually meet her. Even if she’s responding to your text, you are not getting yourself any closer to actually getting around on a date.
Instead what you want to do is, you want to say more with less. Whenever you
are considering what to text a girl, see if you say it simpler with less text.
Most guys send a pointless text like "How is your day?"
or "Enjoying the warm weather". These texts don’t bring you
any closer to a woman. They just beg for a response which not only doesn’t create
any sort of emotional state within a woman. It also reduces the attraction by
displaying a sort of neediness and some sort of pointlessness, the kind of annoys.
Here is what you have to do to make sure that you never again waste text on pointless chatter. Ask yourself this golden question: "How is this text bringing the girl and I closer to a date?". If your answer is simply to get to know her better, erase the text. It is not going to help you.
When a girl gave you her number, she was having fun with you. She enjoyed your
company. She was probably thinking that something could possibly come out of
this. But when she is away from you, a day or two later, all these positive
emotions that she felt when she was around you, are starting to diminish. She
has no longer that amped up state that she felt. So when she receives your texts
and it doesn’t appear fun to her, she will not meet up with you because now
she is getting boring text and she will stay in that same state, it will not
motivate her. Remember all girls have tons of guys hitting on them, talking
to them, try to get their attention. A human being likes naturally being around
people that we have the most fun with and if you don’t appear that guy, you are
Answering questions are NOT fun. When you send a girl a text like "How was your day going?" there is nothing fun about that she gets that text and now she got to stop and think, how will I respond to this? She got to put her phone away and two minutes later you text her back "Oh that is good". Have you ever being out with friends or at work and you are getting these short little texts that aren’t really saying anything and you have to respond and you know the person’s going to text you back?. It is not fun!!
The burden of keeping the conversation going is NOT fun. When you don’t know when to stop, when you continually text her because you are getting a response and confuse responses with attraction, you are not getting anywhere. You are putting that burden on her to keep the conversation going. It is not fun for her. She doesn’t want to keep pulling her cellphone out and making small talk.
Blindly agreeing with her is NOT fun. If you are just agreeing with a girl
without expressing any of your personality – "I saw a very good movie"
and you say "Yeah, it was a very good movie", nothing is
Don’t be "stiff" and "formal". That doesn’t come across as fun. Many guys write "Hi nice to meet you". That is very formal, very stiff. And it doesn’t bring back any positive feelings for her.
Choose words that convey "Fun". Telling your girl that she is pretty badass comes across as more fun than telling a girl "Hey, you were really cute" or I really had a good time with you! Playfully tease her, include her on inside jokes. If something happened, the first time you met her, include that in your first text. Bring back that positive emotion, convey that fun that she felt towards you and it will make it much more likely that she responds to your text.
A lot of guys wonder why some girls go cold after a good first meeting and this is why because your first text doesn’t convey any sort of emotion or any sort of fun and they are just coming across as boring.
Develop your own sort of style. A woman should be able to know it’s a text from you just by reading it. When she pulls out a cell phone without even seeing whose name it is if she can’t decipher whether it was you or Rob or Bob or Chris or Dylan who sent her this text, that is not a good sign. She should be able to just pull out her phone and immediately know ‘oh this is him’ and then a smile should appear on her face. I have a friend Dany who always start his texts with "yo yo yo", it is always in this high energy good mood and it makes me excited to get the text. Whereas other guys send me "What’s up?", and it makes me not even wanting to answer.
An attractive woman gets dozens of texts per day, many of which are from other
guys. And you need to be able to stand out. You are not standing out by sending
her dry normal texts.
Injecting your personality into a text is what puts a smile on her face, it gets her excited to read and respond to your message. You do it by choosing specific words that you use a lot, by using specific types of punctuation, certain phrases, emoticons. All that is uniquely yours.
This is probably one of the biggest mistakes that guys make. They are treating text messaging like a normal conversation. Some text messages are reading like a freaking book. Texting is not the same as in-person conversation. It should not follow the same pattern. Why you introduce yourself to somebody normally like "Hey, what’s up? – Hey, how are you going? – Hey, how have you been?" and you go through a little bit of small talk, but with texting you do not have time for that, it is annoying "hey, how is your day going? – Good!" or “What are you up to? – Not that much.”. You have to skip over all of that and you have to jump right to the fun stuff.
Texting should be the "super cool" cliff notes of a normal conversation.
And leave out the formalities, meaning go right into an anecdote, start with
a teasing nickname, start off by describing something funny that just happened
to you. Don’t start off by saying "How is your morning going?"
that is not going to do anything. Start off by telling something funny that
happened in your morning. Get her in a good mood and then go right into moving
it forward. You always have to move forward, getting a response from a girl
is not good enough. You have to move it closer to the date. If you are already
dating a girl, you have to move it closer to the next date. You have to be upping
the attraction, upping the sexual connection with her.
The longer the conversation, the more chances to mess things up, the more likely you are to say things that confuse her, that kind of insults her accidentally or that just leads to awkward confusion. You are trying a woman to show her over a text message that you are feeling chemistry towards her. In person you have a little more time, you can go over formalities, but over the text, you don’t have that. When she gets this kind of lame, like "How are you? How is your day going?" texts, there is no chemistry and no connection. It is just dead air. It is hurting you more than it is helping you.
Jump right to the "good stuff". Meaning that you have to go right into an anecdote. Start with a teasing name.
Many girls don’t respond or aren’t available when you ask her out because:
Emotion = Attention = Action. Keep this in your wallet and
before you send a girl a text message, before you get a girl to take action,
you have got to get her attention. When you send her the text, you don’t know
what she is doing, you don’t know if she is out on a date with another guy,
if she is out with her friends, if she is sleeping, if she is driving, if she
is at work, if she is in class. So when she get’s your text, you are battling
for her attention and the only way to get it is by sparking an emotion. Emotion,
when you feel something, all the sudden you are paying attention. And once you
feel something, once you are paying attention, then you can get action. But
if you try to skip that, you are not going to get it.
As an example one of your friends is sending you a message "Hey, are you going to the gym today?", that is a very logic based text no emotion in there. So it is very hard to motivate yourself to take action or even pay too much attention to it. But if the text said something like "Spring Break three weeks away, hot girls waiting for us. Let’s go to the gym today?." Your emotion is pumped, you are thinking about spring break now, you are thinking about how you want to look good on the beach and you are much more likely to say yes. And that is the way you have to look at it with women. You have to pump her full of emotion before you will get a "Yes" out of her. If the question you ask is logical, you are getting a "No". Logic = NO and Emotion = YES.
If you ask her to hang out without first sparking some sort of emotion, she will almost always turn you down. It doesn’t seem fun for her. And until it seems fun for her, she is not going to do it.
The best way to spark an emotion is with humor or flirting. Anytime you send
something that puts a smile on her face first and gets her laughing, it gets
you paying attention. Speakers will generally start a meeting with some kind
of humor because they know when you say something a little bit funny, it gets
people to pay attention, it gets them laughing and then all of a sudden they
are saying: ‘Ok, I am going to pay attention now’.
Speakers almost never start a speech off just talking about the facts or what they are going to tell you. They start off with some kind of humor. The really good speakers inject a lot of humor throughout the speech because they know that is keeping your attention. In the world of texting women, humor and flirting – flirting is teasing, letting her know that you are attracted to her in a fun playful way – these are the juice of texting, these are what spark emotions. You need to send these sort of texts before asking her out. You can’t ask her out before you sparked an emotion.
Never fall into predictable patterns. Examples: you always answer her texts back in a certain amount of time. So if she texts you, you always respond back within a few minutes or you always make her wait a half an hour. Maybe you send her always a good morning text or a good night text or maybe you always ask her how her day is or how work goes today. You are creating patterns.
Patterns are really bad but there is also a good thing about patterns that you can use to your advantage. The easiest way to lose her attention is by setting these patterns and becoming predictable but when you have established a little bit of pattern and you break them up, it gets her attention back. So if you always take a few minutes to respond and then suddenly now you don’t respond her till the next day, she is going to be glued on wondering why you didn’t text her back and it is going to amp up that attraction. If you always text a good night before you go to sleep and then you don’t text her good night, she is going to fall asleep waiting for that good night text. All the sudden she is wondering why she didn’t get that good night text today.
The easiest way to lose her attention (and attraction) is to be too available, too agreeable, or too one-dimensional. So you need to mix things up. If you are always sending her these jokey texts, sometimes you want to send her something more serious. You want to break up the pattern. Don’t become predictable because when a girl thinks that she has figured you out, you lose her attention. People don’t spend much time about people whom are being predictable. We spend a lot more time about people who we can’t really figure out. You want to leave her always kind of guessing what your next move is or going to be.
Always mix things up.
This is are a very common mistake. A lot of guys are thinking that this girl is different and they don’t have to use this stuff. Or they rationalize a reason why it’s okay to make the mistakes this time.
It is NOT Okay :
These rules always apply!