There is a phenomenon going on that a lot of people are going through: you hit it off with a girl, you get her number, things are going well and you start to realize that she’s pulling away. Her texts either, she goes from taking five minutes to respond to taking five hours, she goes from writing these long messages to writing you "lol" or "haha". She puts no effort in it. You get the feeling after a while when you are sending these texts, that she is laying in bed with some dude laughing about your texts. We have all been there, it happens to everybody.
The reason this happens is that there are some common mistakes with the way you text with girls. Texting seems very simple but it is a huge part of how a relationship moves forward, in the earlier years it used to be phone calls or meeting in person. Everything that happens when you are away from a girl is almost more important than when you are with her, what she thinks about you when you are not around. Texting controls what she thinks about you.
This may sound obvious to some people but for most guys, this is a common and huge mistake. Many guys, who are in the friend zone with a girl, start sending her texts like "I am starting to have feelings for you" or something similar. Anyway, the text isn’t good and led her to say something like "Hey, we need to talk. I see you as a friend … ". This is where confessing your feelings over text leads. This was an obvious example.
A lot of guys make a less obvious mistake. They may send her something like "Oh you are really cute. I had a really good time with you. I can’t wait to see you again.". Too early in a relationship that comes across as too needy, too hungry, too desperate. You want to leave some mystery to what you are thinking in your texts.
As guys when we have all these bottled-up feelings for a girl, we want to blurt them out. We think: if only she knew how much I like her she’ll surely want to be my girlfriend. WRONG. The minute you confess your feelings to a girl you’re revealing your hand… and leaving her nothing to work for. Remember, the less she has to work for you… the more bored she becomes.
A less obvious but a more prevalent mistake that guys make is by sending her "Nice Guy" texts. You are sending texts like "Hey, what’s up? How is your day going?". There is no need to send these texts than the fact that you want to be reassured that she is responding. A lot of guys mistake her responding as interest. She might say "Yeah, my day is fine. It is a nice day.". Every time that she has to pull out her phone and reading these texts and aren’t getting her emotional, it is not adding any emotion or humor or any aspect of your personality to her day. You simply checking in with her to see if she is okay… The only thing that you are doing is lowering and lowering her attraction for you. Her interest in you is going downhill and fast!
Do you know why girls are repulsed by “nice guys?” Because they try way too hard. And anytime a guy is trying too hard she immediately starts thinking, “Uh, Oh… there must be something wrong with him?”
Do you know the second reason girls are repulsed by “nice guys?” Because they send BORING texts. When a girl is continually pulling out her phone to read “Hope your day is going well” or “Enjoy your weekend” or “Have fun tonight” you begin to seriously annoy her. I call these “checking-in” texts and you want to avoid them because these texts make you appear way too “needy.”
There are a few reasons this will kill her attraction towards you. First off, it eliminates some of your mystery. Second, it doesn’t give her time to miss you and anticipate hearing from you. And third, she places less value on guys that are too easy to catch. Which means if you’re always around she begins to value you less. This is why you need to “strategically retreat.”
When you are always too available whenever she texts you or you text her right back, or she sends you a late-night “What are you doing?” text and you start thinking ‘oh shit she is texting me at 12:00 at night on a Friday! I have to text her right back!’, you are essentially saying that you are too needy. You can’t be too available because girls pick up on this.
When we sense a girl likes us, we think ‘oh well, she likes me and I can be myself now and be totally available. She is texting ‘Me’ on a Friday night, she wants to hang out with me.’ What she is doing on a surface level or unconscious level, she is kind of going like ‘How much does this guy likes me? How fast does he get back to me? Will he leave the guys where he is hanging out with, to meet me?’.
The way you do this is simply by becoming her text buddy. A lot of guys look at texting as ‘Oh she is responding. We are getting to know each other.’. That is not how you want to use text. Text should be simply to get her emotional and get her out on a date.
You don’t want to become her text buddy before you had sex with her. Before you have sex with a girl, it is way better off to give her the "movie trailer" version of you then give her the whole movie. Once she has seen the whole movie before sex, she will move to the next guy, to the next "movie trailer." Give her just the movie trailer, leave her wanting more, don’t give her the full story. The way you do this is by being a little judicious in how much you are texting her.
They think the more they text back forth with a girl, the more she starts to like them. And they’re sort of right. She does start to like you more… as a friend. If you’ve ever gotten a girl’s number and then texts back and forth with her for months and yet she never seems to want to meet up. You’re her “text buddy.” Which is just as bad as being her “pen pal.” This is why it’s important to learn how to say more with less.
A lot of guys are too scared of being persistent because they don’t want to come across needy or desperate. When you are persistent in the wrong way, you do totally come off as needy and desperate. What you have to know about women is that every woman is like a "lock". You have to find the right key. And when you use the right key, you can turn her on, change her entire perception of you. Her feelings of you are more based on what she is thinking about when she is no with you. When you figure out the right texts to send, you send her some kind of "subliminal" ideas in a girl’s mind. Which leads her more to the outcome that you want.